First of all, and on behalf of the Owner and Publisher of Mata Pribadi, PT Kebohongan Pribadi Jaya Pratama Dalglish, I would, as President Commissioner, like to personally apologise to you all for the lack of a January edition of your favourite organ. Can I also share with you the background to this wholly regrettable development?
Following a blowout 4th Fiscal Quarter by Mata Pribadi and a handsome royalty cheque from Google, I was rather reluctantly persuaded to reward the Editor and his entire staff for their great work by fully funding an 8 day cruise around Italian waters. Yes, you may have guessed already, the cruise was on the liner Costa Concordia mastered by the unfortunate Captain Francesco Schettino.
The Editor and Staff, I am pleased to be able to report, are all alive though two of them remain in hospital in Palermo but, thankfully, are now off the critical list.
We in the office were to receive no communication for more than a week after the liner’s sinking before finally getting a series of increasingly incoherent tweets from the Editor from which it appears that he and the rest of the team had shared at least a dozen bottles of rather fine Chianti with the Captain and First Officer of the vessel in the Captain’s Stateroom in the hours before the unfortunate incident. It is my own long and hard-earned personal experience that bottles with that funny raffia wrapping stuff around them should be approached with extreme caution and preferably not at all.
As responsible Global Citizens we have made a report of all this, had it translated into Sundanese and sent to the Italian Polizi. Apparently there is a paucity of Italian/Sundanese translators available in Palermo and no dictionary whatsoever, so our guys and gal should have a good chance of being able to get out before Pak Polizi can ever make any sense of it.
While we have an otherwise excellent staff on Mata Pribadi, it is becoming clear that they have a regrettable tendency to create news rather than report on it, and this is something the Board and myself are actively reviewing.
I had in fact tried earlier to bring you such little news as we had, however, my knowledge of WordPress is extremely limited and it is only now, and through the good offices of M’bak Dewi who remained behind in Jakarta due to a providential bout of “Masuk Angin”, that I am able to communicate with you at all.
I have had a look around the system for drafts that might be published, however, the only thing I could find was a half baked story about an alleged one-legged dwarf throwing contest in Highway to Elle very late one evening that seems to have gotten totally out of control sometime between Xmas and New Year and which has attracted the attention of a number of m’learned friends in The City that Really Never Sleeps. We are not going anywhere near that one while I am in charge.
I did think of bringing you an excellent Hashing story sent to me by a close friend currently resident in central Europe, however, I assess readers’ knowledge of the mating habits of the Moldovian Yak as being far too low to properly understand the nuances and have spiked it as we say in publishing circles – so no January edition but we will be back in February even if I have to sack the old lot and bring in new.
Apologies once again to all our readers.
For and on behalf of:
PT Kebohongan Pribadi Jaya Pratama Dalglish
Bapak Johannes Pakuprobono BSc (Hons) MBA