The NottheJakartaPost is pleased to announce the appointment of its first Restaurant Critic. While he doesn’t know too much about food, he does know what he likes and doesn’t cost us very much, 50% of the cost of all authorised and properly receipted meals taken in fact. Never mind, the arrangement makes us both happy.
This morning he chanced his arm by heading for one of the largest traffic jams in Jakarta, or Kemang as it is sometimes known, and later filed this report.
Open now for just a few months, Bangers and Mash, is just the sort of ridiculous thing you almost expect to find in Kemang these days, in this case a cafe modelled along British lines and offering firm favourites like the all day British Breakfast, fish and chips and indeed the eponymous Bangers and Mash and much more of what they label “comfort food”.
Also on offer are lots of Scottish stuff like Haggis and Scotch eggs and God knows what else though not, as far as I could find out, the infamous Scottish deep fried Mars bar; it is clear, however, that the place has a strong North of the Border influence.
For my first visit, I just had to try their Great British Breakfast, just as well as we were told that the Steak and Kidney pie I also fancied was “habis” and more only”lagi dibikin”. Yep, all the pies and much else are “home made” for heaven’s sake, God knows where they get their pigs from.
The GBB was well cooked and presented and the taste of the pork sausages after six months without any was quite divine and the bacon just as good.
Only disappointment in fact was that the Indonesian idea of how toast should be made seemed to hold sway, ie place a round of bread approximately 10 cm away from a 50 watt light bulb and hold it there for a full 5 seconds. Buy a fucking toaster for Christ’s sake, they’re only 200,000 roops or something in Carrefour.
The place is a little spartan, just like what it is imitating in fact, but spotlessly clean and the crew were attentive, efficient and friendly without being intrusive and operated well even (especially?) in the absence of an expat.
If you need a cholesterol shot from home without damaging your wallet overmuch then give them a go, well worth a visit. We will be back to try out the pies just to confirm they are as tasty to eat as they were to look at. What a job. See ya.
PS for cricket followers who did’t see what G. Boycott had to say in his Daily Telegraph e-mail report this morning then here is an extract.
Cook has legendary powers of concentration, discipline and the ability to accumulate runs. But there was a moment in the afternoon when I did not think it unreasonable for someone to have said to him you need to look to be a bit more positive.
Bring me the sick bag, Alice, I could take this from just about anyone but the Yorkshire Mouth, the man who ALWAYS put his own personal statistics above the interests of any team he happened to be playing for, not least England. Twat.