Last night saw even more shocks than usual in the Blok-M based pool league, FAB, when players and fans alike witnessed the arrest of one of MyDump Dangduts female players – for being a man!
With the quarter final game against Maxis Marauders delicately poised at 6-6, around a dozen heavily armed members of the crack Densus 88 unit stormed the MyDump bar looking for “Dewi Rahman” – a registered female player with the Dangduts we were later advised by Mr. Hitesh, FAB League President.
Immediately after the arrest, “Dewi”, dressed in a rather fetching little blue number which showed off her magnificent breasts to perfection, and tottering about in 3” high heels, was removed to the Gents where, rather heroically, a couple of the 888 guys confirmed Dewi’s gender to be as alleged before being removing “her” for questioning to the police holding and interrogation facility on nearby Jl. A’mratinau.
One of the Densus 88 squad told us that they “had received a report that one of the bar girls had seen “Dewi” in the WC earlier and that “she” seemed to have rather more in the wedding tackle department than is normal and called her adik (younger sibling – ED) in headquarters. As the on-duty team, we were mobilised within minutes after that, rather annoyingly just as we were taking our evening Bakso”.
MyDump Bar owner, Charlie “Bali” Taylor, was in a state of shock as he sat nursing his usual Tequila and C1000 orange mix, “I’ve never seen anything like this in a league game, it was fucking unbelieveable, man, where are my smokes?”.
Also present in MyDump as events unfolded was long term jakarta expat, Alex McLeish who told us “it wiznae real, ye ken, the Polis wiz everwhere, I recognised a coupla’ the loons fit lifted me at Fatmawati”
As news of the arrest spread round the Blok, team captain of Pentagon Pissheads, Raymond McLelhoe, arrived and was to be seen fiercely discussing the situation with Dangduts skipper, Marwan Effendy. Pissheads had been eliminated in the group stage largely as a result of losses to a Dangduts team inspired by “Dewi Rahman”’s perfect performance against female opposition throughout the group stage. “The Dangduts have to be thrown out and replaced by the Pissheads” demanded McLelhoe as he drew heavily on his eighth diet Coke (TM) of the evening.
FAB Rules committee chairman, “Sarky” Mims was later contacted in Everest Bar where he and the rest of the Toiling Bastards were celebrating a great 8-8 away result against Oscars Gays. “Not sure there is anything in the rules about this” he opined, “we will have to have another bloody committee meeting” while moustachioed Kiwi, Tary Gownley, suggested that “castration is the only bloody answer, mate.”
A spokesperson for the Jakarta Gay, Transexual and People who aren’t quite sure Protection Front told us from the scene that, “the rights of transexuals are, as usual here in Jakarta, being trampled all over, Dewi has every right to play as a woman if that is how she feels when she wakes up in the morning”. President Hitesh, on the spot at the time, confirmed that there were no plans to add a further category of player to cover those who wake up in the morning feeling they were of the opposite sex, “no fucking way” was his immediate reaction.
The last word goes to shoe shine boy, Pak Oga, who shared with us that he plies his trade mainly to Sportsmans Bar clientele as their customers are businessmen who come after work with leather shoes on. More interestingly Pak Oga revealed that “we all knew “Dewi” was a cowok, Pak, his real name is Agus Salim and he used to play number 2 for D’s Bar in the JPL before some pissed expat paid for him to have breast implants”.